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How to explain to the children the causes and consequences of divorce
Talk before dealing with children about the issue of divorce
When a couple is clear that they want to start divorce proceedings or start their lives separately, one of the most important parts to solve is how to deal with the issue with their family; that is, how to deal with what happened to the children of the couple or the domestic partner in case they are not married.

It is true that they say that children realize everything and that is a reality like a temple. The little ones, although they do not know how to manifest or do not say it openly, realize everything that happens around them and, as they say in a colloquial way, 'fools are not'. But if it is true that, although it is evident that they know that the rupture of the couple has occurred, that 'moment of conversation' is necessary.
The first thing that both members must do is to approach positions and agree on how they will explain to their children the causes of the divorce, as well as the subsequent steps that will take place and that will affect all the members of the family. Therefore, all points must be clear before exposing this situation in common.
And is that if you intend to sit down to talk with your children or with the children of your partner without having previously sat with the one who is already your ex-partner and lay the foundations on the explanations that give or stop giving, things will become very murky.
Leave everything clear to avoid problems In these cases it will be preferable to find the right moment in which to gather everyone to talk about what happened, and that each one expose their doubts and their requests in what is presented as a period of changes. It has to be a day in which the spirits are calm and the whole family is relaxed.
The next step that the couple should carry out will be to expose what each member wants to achieve with the separation. If it is a temporary decision, to rebuild your life or instead take a time to reflect. This is also important to be shared with the children because they will have an idea of what is to come in the coming months.
Organize so that the situation is normalized Among the options that spouses should expose their children are between them they choose to live separately, if any of them stay in the family home or if the custody will be joint or individual. A very delicate issue in which the children, if they are over 14 years old, will have a voice and vote in the face of possible legal separation.
Approaching postures between the couple is the most advisable before talking with the rest of the family. They should also organize themselves so that the period of adaptation is as short and as positive as possible, both for the members of the couple and for their children. In addition, it is necessary to take into account that in these cases they will have to resolve the tensions between both before facing each new step.
The goal is that both the members of the couple and the rest of the family learn from the situation and face what happened in the most normal way, so they should look for the best possible way to carry it out.
And if that way is going to a court to regularize both the lives of ex-spouses and their children is something that must be faced naturally and without involving any trauma.
If from the beginning you know that there is no turning back, it is best to put the cards on the table as soon as possible to avoid tensions and bad times are too long. 'Cut for the sake' that is usually said.



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